You wouldn’t find a more dumb name for a protein bar. Even if you tried. ‘Proteinissimo’ sounds at least as stupid as the word honorificabilitudinitatibus* given, let’s say, for something as simple as carrots. OMG, what a fail.
All right, language purists. This protein bar might be not your favourite one for an obvious reason. And we’re not surprised. It’s not ours either. But, besides its silly name, we have more reasons for it than that. And one of them is the taste of this bar that is nothing special, same as the other flavour from this range, Chocolate Coffee Cake. But before that, let’s have a quick look at how it wants to mislead us with its smell. Because it wants to do that a bit.
All of that, because it smells not too bad. There’s a strawberry scent easily detectable. There’s also a bit of cream aroma too. But we weren’t able to find a milk chocolate whiff in it. Yet, it’s pretty encouraging to bite into it though. The gritty textured and pretty chewy bar also tries to stick to our teeth. Fortunately, it’s not too dry, so you may not need a sip of water while eating it.
And then a lot of things changes when it comes to the taste. Strawberry?
Checked. Raspberry cream? Barely checked, as it could be more of it. Milk chocolate? Not checked. What? Oops, there’s no milk chocolate in the flavour of this bar at all. And instead of that, there’s a bitter aroma in it. And it spreads to aftertaste too, adding a bit of sourness too. You know, some kind of bitterish and sourish aftertaste. Not too appealing. Also, the bar is not too sweet, leaving you with both a bitterish aftertaste and a wry face. What a misunderstanding when it comes to a sweet treat, right?
Do we want another serving after the first one? What could we say here? The most appropriate statement would be simply: no. Or maybe we should say: NO? NO, NO, NO?!
30g for a bar is not too much. And we can’t wait for even smaller protein bars, like 25g. Or even 20g. Why not? Eh… There is 96 kcal in this bar, 2.9g of fat, 8.2g of carbs (including 3.5g of sugar) and 8.7g of protein. Ingredients list contains an added sugar, but that’s it when it comes to ingredients we don’t like too much.
Can it be a sustainable protein bar on the go? If it was a 0g (zero grams) bar, then, of course, it could! But jokes aside. Added sugar in ingredients means no.
30g of disappointment. We can’t wait for 0g of it in every protein bar!
A protein bar that weights only 30g? It sounds pretty silly (as its name). And we are afraid it’s still a full 30g of disappointment here. Pleasant smell, but bad taste. Right nutrients, but not too good ingredients. Easy to eat, but far from being satisfying from that. And that name. Proteinissimo. Pff!
Will we ever go back to that protein bar? We don’t think so. There’s too much of disappointmentissomo and it’s highly unsatisfyinissomo. No, thank you.
P.S. Honorificabilitudinitatibus is the longest word in Shakespeare’s works; the longest word in the English language featuring alternating consonants and vowels.
- Smell 77/10
- Outer firmness 66/10
- Inner firmness 77/10
- Taste 44/10
- Moistness 7.57.5/10
- Nutrients 8.48.4/10
- Ingredients 55/10
- After the last bite 44/10
OUR RATE: GOOD (but it was artificially bumped up by it's good nutrients and macros)
A protein bar that weight only 30g? It sounds pretty silly (as its name). And we are afraid it’s still a full 30g of disappointment here. Pleasant smell, but bad taste. Right nutrients, but not too good ingredients. Easy to eat, but far from being satisfying from that. And that name. Proteinissimo. Pff!
User Review( votes)
It contains added sugar
It has a silly name…